A Quintessential Search

Monopolized by her absence
Having tranquilized my glee
I could find peace in none
Except being on a search spree.

Inside the crevices of cracked self love
Amidst the tangled mess of insecurities
I thought I would find her
Passionately struggling for parities.

I passed my nimble fingers
All through my sleek mane
I even sought my implausibly artistic eyebrows
But it was all in vain.

I strived to hear her in the deafening silence of loneliness
Mistakenly christened as solitude
I sincerely wished her to be
One of the tattered pieces of fortitude.

Strolled I for long
On the nebulous rift between anxiety and depression
I even looked beneath
The hefty and mammoth sheet of self oppression.

Neither was she amidst the labyrinth of convoluted relationships
Nor between the phrases of Sylvia Plath
I couldn’t see her oozing from the gaping wounds of masochism
Or fluttering between the grim pages of ‘The Grapes of Wrath .
Once while leafing through the rusty sheets of fairy tales
Swinging arms as I anticipated the exudation of pixie dust
I thought I got a glimpse of her
Dubious, yet I chose to trust.

And yes, I found her, I found her
Between messy hair and bushy eyebrows
Filled in bits in the acnes
And nonchalantly propelling all sorrows.

She was there in the sweetness of nectar
And in the avidity of the lithe wings of tiny butterflies
I could see her in the wondrous miracles of springtide
And in aspiring dreams to touch skies.

I saw her basking
In the pleasure of forgetting and forgiving her ownself
I saw her reclining in the patience
That a bruise takes to heal itself.

Between each transitioning syllable of uplifting verses
And in tiny dust powder in the ray of hope
She frivolously spun around
Embracing the changing patterns of life’s kaleidoscope.

She was in the bold repudiation
Of seeking obligatory validation
She meandered in the syringe of antidote
That would nullify in her the intoxication.
I noticed her in the courage
To renew a breached trust
In the recklessness to love
Completely consumed by wanderlust.

I found her in conviction, in compassion
I found her in vivacity
I found her in the blatant thirst to learn
I found her in the love and pride for her identity.

The search took a little longer
But it eternally set me free
After multiple cycles of vice and disquiet
I finally found the happy, little me.

A Matter of Few More Miles

May be it has been years
The sun in your life hasn’t shone
But don’t leave your hope in despair
Trust me you are not alone.

A thousand dampened eyes
Still wait for the rain
To wash off their souls
The very dirt of disdain.

But just stop for a while
Donate a couple of minutes
As you come to the end of this
You might just transcend your limits.

It might have been so
That you’ve given your flesh and blood
To love the people of your life
Who later, your joy, ruthlessly nipped in the bud.

It might have been so
That you’ve stretched your aching hands as rope
For a lot of people out there
Who callously pushed you down the slope.

It might also have been so
That you’ve been the silver drops in their times of drought
But when you needed them the most
They effortlessly fell out.

Now , as crestfallen you stand
With a thousand fingers pointing you
Let your persona defend you
And don’t point your own fingers too.

To love was not your fault at all
And neither believing was
The people you chose didn’t deserve you
All the mishaps, this did cause.

It’s not the right time to brood
But to embrace the lesson learnt
To discern the hundred unmasked trippers
Thankfully, quite early in your jaunt.

Stand before the mirror once
Find the fire in your eyes
That’s adept at burning all your regrets
Make sure that it never dies.

Feel the power your lone soul possesses
Breathe, drop and lift your lashes
You don’t have to rise like the phoenix
Just don’t let others turn you into ashes.

And listen to what the brook says
‘For men may come and men may go
But I go on forever’
Like the brook, you bicker along
Let the inane people haver.

Be a perennial brook of compassion
Under the sun you will always be glowing
Those who intend to stay with you
To keep up the pace, in rhythm will be flowing.

To gather the gems on your way
May be it’s a matter of few more miles
But you’ll certainly find men for your life
Who can blissfully bleed to frame your smiles.