Senescence

The sagging flesh aches as the slightest of breeze
Nears to strum my skin,
So I flinch at the sight of leaves
Passionately brushing past each other, foreseeing
An impending agony.
As the crammed, fluffy clouds descend
To rest their worn bodies on my shoulder
I plead them to leave mine for I no longer can carry them.
Keeping up my pace with the hands of clock
Which never tires, I am knackered
Knackered enough to be shaded by an eternal exhaustion.
The leaking efficiency of my eyes and brain to communicate
Drips and puts out the embers of elation
Dimly lit.
To quench the thirst , I sip in
Few drops of remembrance , only to agonize
My already sore soul.
From framing the nuances of nature
On a square sheet of canvas, with the most coordinating shades
To cursing my inability to discern
The hue of the sky that plays peek-a-boo
With the voluminous clouds
From summoning the strongest of winds
To stab my supercilious skin
To not being at ease with the most humble zephyr
I’ve come a long way.
From dreading each atom with the wrath of my roar
To leaning against a speckled wall in my den
Longing to be served
I scuffle each day with my own self to decide
Whether to hold the grains of life fleeting from my fist
Or to just let it go.
As senescence sweeps in with audacity
Proclaiming its ascendance over my body
I feel ‘aging’ getting unmasked .

The rise and fall of the sun lose their meanings
For there is nothing to mark the inception or termination of.
Eyeballs rolling between the fathomless ends of sky
Seem to resonate with the incomprehensible
Abundance of hours which gush in.
Long hours of reclination throttles me
Makes me feel crippled, incompetent
And how distasteful it is to witness
The process of your own wilting.
I see the moon waning, thinning every day
Even the thinnest crescent
And I try to hold together the constellation
Of stars, connecting each of them
But fail
For I see the stars falling one by one too
People murmuring wishes into it
Not knowing how much the ‘ shooting star ‘ had wished
To stay in its constellation forever.
Rubbing the infant skin of a newly arrived
I sense the amalgamation of the star dust
Which had come off a star
That fell out from my constellation last night
While I see my wrinkles slowly crumbling back
To gleaming star dust
Bit by bit
Grain by grain
Everyday.
As I fantasize the springtide
My pragmatic mind tells me that in life
It’s winter that follows spring
And I know I set about on a linear path
For my journey
So there is no getting back.
Trembling in the biting wind
Every passing second
I just wait to succumb under the doleful winter sky.

Obsessed with Golden Feathers

Because I could cope with the pace of racers
I thought I was meant for that
Jostling a lot that came my way
I was busy gathering golden feathers for my hat.

Nostalgic rendezvous turned down
Many a D-days I did miss
Fearful of losing that every second
I didn’t even stand back for my granny, who came scuffing to kiss.

Despite feeling the twinge in legs
I could never dare to rest
Impassioned to lead the ongoing rat race
I erroneously christened my Insanity as zest.

Little did I know, what I desired
Would gradually prove a mirage
What I believed would give me pleasure
Ditched me, being life’s prank of camouflage.

During the days I had prowess
I was never grateful of being able to fly
Like a moron I remained obsessed
For I only had to touch the sky.

I flew and flew as long as I could
And traversed a million miles
One day when I could try no more
I found my lone self amidst a hundred isles.

Reclusive, forlorn, gasping there
I could hear my conscience shout
Busy collecting golden feathers
I couldn’t notice my people falling out.

I had a sumptuous place to live
But nobody to share
I stopped bragging about my overflowing pocket
When I found no one to care.

Medals jingled in the breeze
But there was no one to be proud
I had the coveted name and fame
Yet I was lonely in the crowd.

Heaving sighs of utter regrets, I realised
It’s not always not too late to change
I would suffer henceforth, for that every time
My loved ones I did estrange.

I left the hands of my fellow trippers
I didn’t rejoice the journey as I scaled
Having conquered the mighty mountain
I grieve that in life I have failed
Now I say :
It’s never the name and fame
Or even the wealth you gather
It’s the number of people you have by your death bed
That tucks in your hat, the sterling golden feather.

A Quintessential Search

Monopolized by her absence
Having tranquilized my glee
I could find peace in none
Except being on a search spree.

Inside the crevices of cracked self love
Amidst the tangled mess of insecurities
I thought I would find her
Passionately struggling for parities.

I passed my nimble fingers
All through my sleek mane
I even sought my implausibly artistic eyebrows
But it was all in vain.

I strived to hear her in the deafening silence of loneliness
Mistakenly christened as solitude
I sincerely wished her to be
One of the tattered pieces of fortitude.

Strolled I for long
On the nebulous rift between anxiety and depression
I even looked beneath
The hefty and mammoth sheet of self oppression.

Neither was she amidst the labyrinth of convoluted relationships
Nor between the phrases of Sylvia Plath
I couldn’t see her oozing from the gaping wounds of masochism
Or fluttering between the grim pages of ‘The Grapes of Wrath .
Once while leafing through the rusty sheets of fairy tales
Swinging arms as I anticipated the exudation of pixie dust
I thought I got a glimpse of her
Dubious, yet I chose to trust.

And yes, I found her, I found her
Between messy hair and bushy eyebrows
Filled in bits in the acnes
And nonchalantly propelling all sorrows.

She was there in the sweetness of nectar
And in the avidity of the lithe wings of tiny butterflies
I could see her in the wondrous miracles of springtide
And in aspiring dreams to touch skies.

I saw her basking
In the pleasure of forgetting and forgiving her ownself
I saw her reclining in the patience
That a bruise takes to heal itself.

Between each transitioning syllable of uplifting verses
And in tiny dust powder in the ray of hope
She frivolously spun around
Embracing the changing patterns of life’s kaleidoscope.

She was in the bold repudiation
Of seeking obligatory validation
She meandered in the syringe of antidote
That would nullify in her the intoxication.
I noticed her in the courage
To renew a breached trust
In the recklessness to love
Completely consumed by wanderlust.

I found her in conviction, in compassion
I found her in vivacity
I found her in the blatant thirst to learn
I found her in the love and pride for her identity.

The search took a little longer
But it eternally set me free
After multiple cycles of vice and disquiet
I finally found the happy, little me.